twistedchick: watercolor painting of coffee cup on wood table (Default)
([personal profile] twistedchick Aug. 26th, 2025 12:23 am)
No, nobody died.

My elderly aunt -- who is the youngest and only remaining member of my father's generation, his little sister -- said something in an email that indicated that she, treasured and pampered last child, did not know the full story about her father's travels around the world. I grew up hearing stories of Grampa's travels from Dad and from his brother; I know all the details about what it was like to sail in a four-masted barque from Bremen to Cape Town to Sydney through the Straits of Magellan (in winter!) to Rio de Janiero to Genoa, a two-year voyage.

She took my offer as an insult; of course she'd been told everything (her version was "Nobody can know what happened."). And called me a liar, and worse. She said I was making it all up, or Dad had invented it, because nobody who wasn't there could know. (This is the woman who had a free ride to Purdue but dropped out after 1 semester because she couldn't be that far away from her mother. She has no idea about studying anything, let alone history, or about research. I'm amazed she got out of high school.)

I let out some of the head of steam this built in me (that has always been the worst insult for me, as a writer and journalist). Then I told her I was not a liar, nor did I invent family history. All that I knew had been verified not only by my father but by one of his brothers, and was truth. It was known, just not to her. All the family stories were softened when they were told to the baby of the family.

And just as I wasn't around in the 30s, she wasn't around at the turn of the century when Grandpa was on that trip.

She had also called me by my birth name, which is now an insult in the world; who wants to be a Karen these days? I told her my name has been Kit for more than 50 years, and signed the note that way.

I have never been one of her cherished nieces; they got all the attention long before I was born, and by the time I came around she had no room for anyone else.

So, if I am lucky, she will no longer leave snarky notes in my FB comment if I mention family history on that side of the family. She cannot put me 'in my place' as she sees it; I am far and away out of her range.

It is more of a relief than anything else, the thought that I probably will not have to deal with her. And, as I said in the header, I still have a cousin on that side of the family whom I get along with well, and several on the other side. None of them within 400 miles or so, but that's how it goes.

I do miss the departed members of that generation, that family, ones who accepted me as I am, who listened and to whom I listened, and who I know loved me. They're gone, but never forgotten.

I'll start with the tl;dr summary to make sure everyone sees it and then explain further: As of September 1, we will temporarily be forced to block access to Dreamwidth from all IP addresses that geolocate to Mississippi for legal reasons. This block will need to continue until we either win the legal case entirely, or the district court issues another injunction preventing Mississippi from enforcing their social media age verification and parental consent law against us.

Mississippi residents, we are so, so sorry. We really don't want to do this, but the legal fight we and Netchoice have been fighting for you had a temporary setback last week. We genuinely and honestly believe that we're going to win it in the end, but the Fifth Circuit appellate court said that the district judge was wrong to issue the preliminary injunction back in June that would have maintained the status quo and prevented the state from enforcing the law requiring any social media website (which is very broadly defined, and which we definitely qualify as) to deanonymize and age-verify all users and obtain parental permission from the parent of anyone under 18 who wants to open an account.

Netchoice took that appellate ruling up to the Supreme Court, who declined to overrule the Fifth Circuit with no explanation -- except for Justice Kavanaugh agreeing that we are likely to win the fight in the end, but saying that it's no big deal to let the state enforce the law in the meantime.

Needless to say, it's a big deal to let the state enforce the law in the meantime. The Mississippi law is a breathtaking state overreach: it forces us to verify the identity and age of every person who accesses Dreamwidth from the state of Mississippi and determine who's under the age of 18 by collecting identity documents, to save that highly personal and sensitive information, and then to obtain a permission slip from those users' parents to allow them to finish creating an account. It also forces us to change our moderation policies and stop anyone under 18 from accessing a wide variety of legal and beneficial speech because the state of Mississippi doesn't like it -- which, given the way Dreamwidth works, would mean blocking people from talking about those things at all. (And if you think you know exactly what kind of content the state of Mississippi doesn't like, you're absolutely right.)

Needless to say, we don't want to do that, either. Even if we wanted to, though, we can't: the resources it would take for us to build the systems that would let us do it are well beyond our capacity. You can read the sworn declaration I provided to the court for some examples of how unworkable these requirements are in practice. (That isn't even everything! The lawyers gave me a page limit!)

Unfortunately, the penalties for failing to comply with the Mississippi law are incredibly steep: fines of $10,000 per user from Mississippi who we don't have identity documents verifying age for, per incident -- which means every time someone from Mississippi loaded Dreamwidth, we'd potentially owe Mississippi $10,000. Even a single $10,000 fine would be rough for us, but the per-user, per-incident nature of the actual fine structure is an existential threat. And because we're part of the organization suing Mississippi over it, and were explicitly named in the now-overturned preliminary injunction, we think the risk of the state deciding to engage in retaliatory prosecution while the full legal challenge continues to work its way through the courts is a lot higher than we're comfortable with. Mississippi has been itching to issue those fines for a while, and while normally we wouldn't worry much because we're a small and obscure site, the fact that we've been yelling at them in court about the law being unconstitutional means the chance of them lumping us in with the big social media giants and trying to fine us is just too high for us to want to risk it. (The excellent lawyers we've been working with are Netchoice's lawyers, not ours!)

All of this means we've made the extremely painful decision that our only possible option for the time being is to block Mississippi IP addresses from accessing Dreamwidth, until we win the case. (And I repeat: I am absolutely incredibly confident we'll win the case. And apparently Justice Kavanaugh agrees!) I repeat: I am so, so sorry. This is the last thing we wanted to do, and I've been fighting my ass off for the last three years to prevent it. But, as everyone who follows the legal system knows, the Fifth Circuit is gonna do what it's gonna do, whether or not what they want to do has any relationship to the actual law.

We don't collect geolocation information ourselves, and we have no idea which of our users are residents of Mississippi. (We also don't want to know that, unless you choose to tell us.) Because of that, and because access to highly accurate geolocation databases is extremely expensive, our only option is to use our network provider's geolocation-based blocking to prevent connections from IP addresses they identify as being from Mississippi from even reaching Dreamwidth in the first place. I have no idea how accurate their geolocation is, and it's possible that some people not in Mississippi might also be affected by this block. (The inaccuracy of geolocation is only, like, the 27th most important reason on the list of "why this law is practically impossible for any site to comply with, much less a tiny site like us".)

If your IP address is identified as coming from Mississippi, beginning on September 1, you'll see a shorter, simpler version of this message and be unable to proceed to the site itself. If you would otherwise be affected, but you have a VPN or proxy service that masks your IP address and changes where your connection appears to come from, you won't get the block message, and you can keep using Dreamwidth the way you usually would.

On a completely unrelated note while I have you all here, have I mentioned lately that I really like ProtonVPN's service, privacy practices, and pricing? They also have a free tier available that, although limited to one device, has no ads or data caps and doesn't log your activity, unlike most of the free VPN services out there. VPNs are an excellent privacy and security tool that every user of the internet should be familiar with! We aren't affiliated with Proton and we don't get any kickbacks if you sign up with them, but I'm a satisfied customer and I wanted to take this chance to let you know that.

Again, we're so incredibly sorry to have to make this announcement, and I personally promise you that I will continue to fight this law, and all of the others like it that various states are passing, with every inch of the New Jersey-bred stubborn fightiness you've come to know and love over the last 16 years. The instant we think it's less legally risky for us to allow connections from Mississippi IP addresses, we'll undo the block and let you know.

twistedchick: watercolor painting of coffee cup on wood table (Default)
([personal profile] twistedchick Aug. 23rd, 2025 03:19 pm)
Putting the Substack on hold has already had some effects. Since I'm not thinking about politics when I fall asleep, my dreams have returned -- in living color.

Night before last I was dreaming about an enormous library or bookstore that had been made out of a former doctor's office, with all the little office areas being different topics, and the books on the walls looked different colors and styles in each.

Last night I dreamed I was talking with Dolly Parton before she went onstage and noticed that her hair was not only touching the floor, it was long enough to trip her up. I managed to trim off about five inches that was in floor contact. Then after her concert she came back and asked me to go on a trip with her as thanks for keeping her from falling off the stage -- and we started off on a road trip. Somewhere in there she turned into Meryl Streep and wanted me to try a tiny heart-shaped hallucinogen as we drove off on the Southern Tier Expressway (which is not a place to go tripping.). And at that point I woke up.

Thanks for returning, Imagination!
twistedchick: watercolor painting of coffee cup on wood table (Default)
([personal profile] twistedchick Aug. 20th, 2025 12:10 am)
I'm putting the Substack column aside for a while. It's just too wearing, looking at the cruelties and misbehavior and idiocy and outright lawlessness of the current regime and writing commentary about it that essentially mirrors what others write.

I need some time not spending up to four days a week writing two columns for no money, columns that are at best depressing.

If I were still at a newspaper doing this, I'd have people who were in the business to bounce ideas off, and some support for the research needed. I am not Robert Reich, who has paid staff. I have me and a computer and occasionally a bookshelf.

And I want to do some lifegiving things for myself, like making more music and creating art and (as long as ICE is not present anywhere near me) going out into the park and breathing the green air of trees. I want to not have the heaviness of the column hanging over my head. I would rather play my flutes, and guitar, and maybe try harp. We have one that belongs to my husband, but he doesn't play often.

And I want to write things like poetry and fiction that don't require me to wear my reductive Inverted-Pyramid-style brain.

So I will notify people, later this week, that it will be more occasional and probably less political.
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